Your Daily Shot of Soju: How do you say “Please stop talking to me”

I am the treadmill terrorist:

To be sure, there are many people in South Korea who don’t look favorably upon my presence in their country. To be sure, most people probably don’t care beyond the novelty glance. To be sure, there are always opposite ends of the spectrum and some people believe that it is there duty, as a native Korean, to take me under their wing and teach me the ways of a South Korean.

People are impressed that I can say “Hello” and figure out how much money they are charging me at the grocery store. I speak Korean decently for only living here for 6 months, which gives off the impression that I am extremely interested in learning about the country and the culture, and I am. However, Willy the Taxi Driver is not my preferred language teacher. If speaking Korean means that I am “Super Foreign Friend” to all Koreans, then count this as another reason I am scared to speak Korean to people other then Rachel and other drunk people. Let’s put this reason right between “blank stares” and “responsibility for finding directions.”

A trainer at the gym I work out at regularly speaks rudimentary English. She has a large head. When I am in the middle of lifting heavy objects she decides that is the ideal time to talk to me, I can not escape.

Today I saw a contraption at the gym that I had not seen previously. I am not sure what the point of it is, but it is a long, flat table type thing. At one end are clamps for your feet. In the middle are some handles and levers. Once your feet are locked firmly in place, you push one of the levers and the table slowly rotates you completely upside down. Once you are upside down you face outside of the gym, and if you were to try and do upside down crunches you would probably hit your head. So, as I mentioned before, I am not entirely sure what the point of this is. Terrorist water board training I imagine.

You would think this device would be perfect to escape the trainer girl with the large head, but it is not. After asking me questions and securing my answers, she runs off and tells other Koreans what I told her. The Koreans converse with each other for a moment. Then she runs back over to me, her head looking like it might tip off her neck any moment. She asks me another question. Process, step, repeat. I would prefer water boarding.

Visual Stimulation:

Yubin, the hot rapping girl from the Wonder Girls, makes me almost not like Nas anymore.

Piece of pop culture I’m diggin on today:

Confucian Culture. It definitely has it’s disadvantages, especially as a young foreign person. But if you know an older Korean, when you are with them you are pretty much bullet proof. I happen to know a few older Korean gentlemen who, in addition to being old, have a bit of money/power. I run this country.

Piece of pop culture I’m missin today:

Computer/peripherals compatibility.

South Korea is so advanced that their MP3 players, cameras and phones don’t even recognize my laptop as an operating system. I have to download plugins and operating systems and codecs to even get that little beeping sound that your computer makes when you plug something into your usb. I have this great video of my kids doing the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” rap, but I doubt it will ever make it to this site. If you ever see me on the street though, ask me to show it to you on my phone…it’s pretty sweet.

Just for the hell of it:

P.M. Dawn – Set Adrift on Memory Bliss

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2 Comments

Filed under Hip Hop, Korean MTV, Narratives, Things to Entertain You, Videos

2 responses to “Your Daily Shot of Soju: How do you say “Please stop talking to me”

  1. God damn, that video is hard to watch.

    Not nearly as bad as this, the most cringeworthy “English” by a K-pop star I could find: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU0bSatFDaY

  2. If anybody asked me to define my Korean experience in less than 90 seconds I think I would just show them that video. That is so amazing I want to slam my head into a wall.

    “you seem nervous”

    “Um, yes I am, because you are very handsome”

    That is classic

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