Your Daily Shot of Soju: How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three…exactly three:

I’ve never really enjoyed hitting on girls at clubs or bars. Many of my friends do though. I have no problem with this behavior; it’s just something I have never enjoyed so I choose not to do. I feel there’s something inherently demeaning in the whole act of hitting on a girl. If I end up talking to a girl that’s great, but it’s not the point of my night.

Once, when I was in Germany some friends and I were drinking at the bar/lounge down below our Hostel when a group of girls, who were on a class trip of some sorts, walked in and started talking to us. They were fun, but out of the 8 or so girls only 2 spoke English. To confuse them my friends and I chose to use cryptic slang. Unfortunately the only slang we could come up with were words like “Stupenduferous” and “Mantastic.” This led to exchanges like this:

My friend: That was a stupenduferous moment.

German girl: Stupenduferous? Is that like stupendous?

Me: No

This brings me to my sense of humor which is admittedly off, sarcastic, and often times misunderstood.  It’s not so much what I say, but the sheer fact that I’m saying it that I find personally funny.

In the States we could never use off-humor jokes around girls. They were horrified and rightly so. I do not enjoy hitting on girls, but I do enjoy talking to them and, if I get bored enough, saying stupid things around them. I’m more interested in seeing reactions to stupid comments than anything else.

However here in Korea, much like with our busted German slang, I can get away with saying stupid things. Even girls who are fluent in English assume they mis-heard me when I make a comment, accidental or otherwise, that doesn’t fit with what a guy who is trying to pick them up would normally say. I don’t know if talking to girls this way is respectful in that I do not see them as purely sexual objects, or if it’s negative in that I don’t take them seriously because of it. In all fairness, I don’t take anybody at the bar seriously, especially myself.

All I know is that I treat everybody, regardless of gender, pretty much the same. The problem lies in that I am many times a jack ass. These are the realities of the impulsive alcoholic who sub-consciously believes he’s smarter than everybody he meets. If you like me you like me, if you don’t you don’t…now pardon me while I buy a round of shots…you want in?

I guess the biggest problem is when I encounter someone who is confident enough in their English to call me out. In this way I am fully against the continued funding of Korea’s English Education programs.

Visual Stimulation:

I wish I could see things like this when I was in the subway. My days would be much happier.

Piece of pop culture I’m diggin on today:

Happy Birthday to my school. I’m not sure how old my school is but it’s old as hell. Probably not 40 yet. I do get the day off of a school though which affords me opportunities to see boys from the high school next to my apartment sneak out during class to smoke cigarettes behind the bike racks…ah memories.

Piece of pop culture I miss today:

Taco Bell. There’s one in Seoul, but it’s in the Army Base and I have to join the army to get it. Although I would kill for a Double Decker supreme I would not submit myself to army training for one.

 

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2 Comments

Filed under Narratives, Things to Entertain You, Videos

2 responses to “Your Daily Shot of Soju: How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

  1. Dave

    As I recall, it was recockulous, but that’s neither here nor there. You say you don’t like hitting on girls in bars, are you forgetting all those nights at Ricks?

  2. you’re right, it was actually “redonkulous” I was having trouble remembering

    and if you call all those nights at ricks hitting on girls, I’d hate to imagine what I would be like if I wasn’t trying

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