Tag Archives: Dating

So this crazy Korean girl is stalking me

(brief edit: when I originally posted this article, I meant it as a joke and didn’t intend it to be an indictment on Korean girls whatsoever. However, I’ve received more feedback regarding this post than any other. The feedback is either A: I’m delusional or B: Korean girls are insane. I think both of these groups missed the point, which was no more than to relate an interesting series of events in my life. I briefly thought about removing this post, but I won’t because it’s part of the history of me. So I’ll just leave you with this: Some people are crazy, some people are not. This craziness has nothing to do with ethnicity and people from every walk of life can be weird…sometimes that can be a good thing. If you think that all people from a specific group are one way because one person acts that way, then you are an idiot, but then you probably didn’t even read this far. Have a nice day those of us who are literate enough to read the whole post.)

I was sitting outside a bar the other weekend when a girl came and sat next to me. At first neither of us recognized each other.

After a moment or so we both looked at each other.

“Cherry?” I said.

“Matt?” she replied.

Let’s forget for a moment that her name fits with the trend followed by many Korean girls I’ve met to name themselves after condiments. Honey, Soy, and Pepper are just a few I’ve run across.

I knew her because a friend of mine who was inside the bar casually dated her. At the moment he was trying to avoid her. I tried to make small talk, all the while trying to ditch her. My relative kindness was mistaken for attraction and next thing I know she is typing her number into my phone and calling it.  She promises to meet up later if I want.  I decide I’d rather have KFC and a 30 dollar cab ride by myself.  She might have stolen the wing piece, and Matthew love wingy.

Long story short, because I’m tired and this is all building up to something, she starts sending me text after text. I usually ignore them. Then Cherry texted me when Rachel was there. Deciding to have some fun, Rachel and one of her friends text her back on my phone.  Probably a bad decision.

In the end, somehow Cherry got my email address and today I got this email from her:

hi matthew how are you , how was your last night
i was sad cuz I didnt see your cute looks. you are t he most cute dancer
I m first time i have seen such cute dancing.
you sent me some text korean language . it s great you know korean speak.most foreigners dont know and dont try to know
because it s difficult.
can I see your dancing again? you are clever and have a art talent

cherry

How the hell she got my email? I have no clue. Apparently I’m an artist now and she has officially become a stalker.

Today she kept sending me texts. I usually immediately delete them, until I read this one:

I had nightmare ghost pressed me last night cuz you ignore me

I am just confused now.

I feel I must point out that while you could argue that Korean girls are crazy, I would argue that most girls in general are crazy.

This girl however is the first to seriously creep me out.  I really hope a nightmare ghost does not press me tonight.

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Filed under Culture, Narratives, The foreigner experience

Superficiality Matters #4: Cute Korean Girl Mystique

(This post is part of the “Looking Past Korea” series which is a run down of all things I think are superficially important, culturally important, and things foreigners think are important but I think are pretty over rated)

Superficiality: Korean girls who act cute and naïve towards males.

Why it happens:

Essentially, it’s a difference in the way relationships are approached between the United States and Korea. Ever since I first thought that Courtney was cute in my 6th grade class, I’ve been pretending to not like girls that I actually do like. Girls do the same thing towards guys. These trends often carry themselves over into our adult dating relationships.

It’s a defense mechanism against getting hurt and maintaining a person’s individuality.

Korean girls seem to have no such defense mechanism. After a few dates with Rachel I knew she liked me because she told me. Additionally, she did it in a distinctly cute Korean girl sort of way. She did it despite her fears that I might become disinterested in her, cheat on her or do something that would hurt her in the near future. She put herself out there early. She had no defense. I could very easily have hurt her.

What it tells us about Korea:

It tells us that long term relationships are more desired in Korea. This has to do with factors involving gender issues, money, living with ones persons parents till they are married, status in a group of friends, and many other things.

Many foreigners get the wrong impression from this behavior that

A: Korean girls are easy to pick up, and

B: Korean girls are completely naive.

It could be argued that the ease which one picks up a girl depends on the girl, and they would be right. Are all Korean girls easy to pick up? It depends, they are individual people after all.

With few foreigners in Seoul, foreign guys are what you might call a “niche market.” Although most Korean girls wouldn’t give a foreign guy a second look, the types of girls you might find at foreigner hot spots would. They are probably attracted to foreign guys in the first place. These girls represent only a subset of Korean girls.

Also, calling these girls naive is simply…well…naive. They have their dating games the same way westerners have their games. The game is so different however, that most foreigners probably don’t even register it as game.

In the United States it’s the “I’m pretending not to like you” game.

In Korea it’s the “I’m so cute and innocent how could you ever hurt me” game.

The stereotype is that foreign guys are all out for one night stands. it’s a well known stereotype amongst girls. They may act like you are special, and they may act like they are hurt, but in the end it’s still an act. They are ready to move on about 3 minutes after you do.

They may tell say “you are handsome,” but my guess is it’s just because it’s one of the few phrases they know.

Visual Example:

Propose – Lee Seung Chul

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Filed under Culture, The foreigner experience, Videos

Apparently Kim Jong-Il is a secret?

The other day Rachel was over to my apartment and I made a reference to Kim Jong-Il. She about freaked out

“You know who that is!?” She asked, stupefied.

“Um, yes. Everybody who’s ever watched the news in America knows who he is…he’s the enemy.” I quipped.

I then proceed to show her this video, and she thought it was pretty funny. Good, it was either that or she would slap me in the face and walk out for making fun of the way Korean people speak.

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Filed under Narratives, Videos